Ryan's Wise Sayings and Pithy Quotes

Or not.

• Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. -- Peter Barszczewski / Groening
• Indecision is the key to flexibility.
• You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks.
• There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
• Happiness is merely the remission of pain (usually temporary).
• Nostalgia just isn't what it used to be.
• Sometimes too much is not enough.
• The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
• The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
• Someone who thinks logically is a welcome contrast to the real world.
• Things are more like they are today than they ever have been before.
• Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
• Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
• Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
• I have seen the truth, and it makes no sense.
• Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
• All other things being equal, fat people use more soap.
• If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
• One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
• By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
• Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
• The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
• There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
• This is as bad as it can get, but don't bet on it.
• Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.
• The trouble with life is, you're halfway though it before you realize it's a "do it yourself" thing.

Submissions from readers

• If life was spam, we'd all have to wear bigger shoes. -- Kevan
• If idiots could fly, it'd be dark outside. - unknown (via mrutledge@dynalhost1.dynal.com)
• Life: sometimes it's like a dog, sometimes like a fire hydrant. -- unknown (via s0repsg3@sad42.sad.usace.army.mil)